You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize