You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize