I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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