It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize