My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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