My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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