his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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