what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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