i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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