I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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