there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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