i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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