well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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