My brain says no but my pants say off.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize