never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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