Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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