so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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