After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize