it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize