I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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