arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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