Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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