I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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