if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My dick has a subreddit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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