hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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