how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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