Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sarcasm needs its own font
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize