Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize