That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize