i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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