All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize