I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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