I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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