i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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