she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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