hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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