If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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