so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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