is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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