He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize