I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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