I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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