I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
God, I missed his penis.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize