I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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