we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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