I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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