and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
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It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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