I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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