i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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