We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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